Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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