it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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