she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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