so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
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