Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize