Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
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So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
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I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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