Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
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i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
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they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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