put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
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I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
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We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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