yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize