Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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