We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize