Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize