Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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