Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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