I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize