Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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