When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize