Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize