I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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