He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
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Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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