So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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