Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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