mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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