Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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