omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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