hell yes lets make some ravioli
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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