She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
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His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
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he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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