u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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