I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize