i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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