Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize