Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
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im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
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I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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