did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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