i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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