I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize