I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize