Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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