Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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