Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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