Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
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I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize