I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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