omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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