just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize