We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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