actually, I'm a sock model
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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