I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize