I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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