Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she smelled like a LAN party
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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