My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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