If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
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Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
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i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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